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Meet the author: Myra has been a student of death and dying since she experienced the loss of her husband in 2001. The years that would follow saw the loss of many friends and family as well, which gave her life experiences she would later use to care for patients as a hospice nurse at a large national hospice agency.
Today Myra is a certified end of life doula at Compassionate Crossings in Sacramento where she not only guides and supports terminally ill persons and their families, she also speaks and educates on all subjects related to death and dying.
1) The title of your book is Dying Made Easy(er). Does this infer that it is not possible to have an “easy” death?
Answer:
No Teresa, because I believe that anything is possible, and sometimes people do have an easy death. By that I mean uncomplicated, peaceful and with care and consideration for everyone involved. But often, the experience of dying is complicated and less than what we would want it to be. The main reason that most of us (who do not die suddenly) fail to have a dying experience of our liking is because we didn’t plan for it. In fact, most of us never even consider that we can in fact have an intentional dying experience! My book helps the reader take a fresh look at death and dying in order to tame the fear associated with it. The book also acts like a workbook, giving the reader clear direction on how to prepare for their “happy ending”.
2) The book cover artistry is beautiful! Can you tell us what the meaning is?
Answer:
Thank you so much for asking Teresa! I get many compliments on the cover and am always proud to brag on the artist, Karen Phillips.
The bridge indicates the journey of our life and the waters are the turbulence. The butterflies represent us once we have become free from the limits of our cocoon (body). And the circle of light is what so many people who have experienced “near Death” describe seeing, which can be interpreted as God.
3) If you could teach the world just one thing about death and dying, what would it be?
Answer:
I love this question Teresa, because if I could teach the world only one thing, that lesson would change so much about how we die.
Death--as we understand it--is a natural part of life and there is nothing wrong with it.
The main reason we struggle with death is because we fear it, call it bad names (tragic, untimely, unfortunate) and fight with it, even when we know it is inevitable.
So my answer to your question is this; make death and dying a part of everyday life. Exposure to all subjects related to end of life and discussing it as if it were as normal as the weather (because it is), will lessen the fear and greatly improve the odds of having a happy ending.
4) It is hard to know what to say or do when someone is dying. Can you give us some quick, easy, non-intrusive ways to help?
Answer:
Having lost many beloved friends and family myself--and having worked with the dying person as well as the loved ones who often begin grieving before their beloved dies--I can say that rehearsed statements are not helpful because they don’t sound sincere. When someone says “I’m sorry for your loss”, I think “This person is uncomfortable”. So often, I find myself comforting them. But when a person says what is truly in their heart I feel considered. Even if they admit to not knowing what to say, but expresses concern, I feel cared for. Also, instead of saying “If there’s anything I can do…..”, say “I’m pretty good at doing laundry, how about I come by tomorrow and grab your laundry? I’ll have it back to you by Thursday”. That’s concrete! The person will be much more likely to accept your help.
5) I noticed that one of the chapters is on hospice. Generally speaking, the subject of hospice is avoided, even by people who could use the services. Why is this so?
Answer:
Hospice care is usually not well understood or misunderstood because we live in a death denying society. I suspect that many of us consider information about hospice to be on a “need to know” basis. But honestly, learning anything related to death and dying is so difficult once we are in need of the knowledge. When we or someone we love is dying, it feels like a crisis so we are not at our best mentally or emotionally at that point. My hope is that the reader will become very informed about hospice and therefore make the best choices and utilize this wonderful benefit in the best possible ways.
Thank you for this opportunity, Teresa. I very much enjoyed the interview. Myra Bennett
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I'm so excited and thankful to see our interview on your lovely site! Thank you again for this opportunity.
ReplyDeleteVery informative and thought-provoking. Thank you for sharing.
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