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Thursday, May 7, 2015
Heuer Lost And Found Unapologetic Lives Book 1 By: A. B. Funkhause Review
At first the book was a little hard for me to follow, took a few chapters to really get into the book, but once I did, I wanted to finish it in one setting. Couldn't but wanted to.
The book runs the gamut of emotions. One minute you want to cry for the characters, the next you are uncontrollably laughing out loud, and your husband is looking at you like you lost your mind, at least mine did.
In the story you get to meet the staff of the Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, they are a quirky bunch of folks. Then the star of the book Jurgen Heuer. He passes away in his very messy flat and while waiting to be found tries to figure out his new existence or non-existence I guess. Once he is found he and taken to the Weibigand Funeral home where the story really beings. His ex-Girlfriend Enid is the mortician there.
Heuer is one of those character's that you don't really hate but you don't fall in love with him either but yet in the end you want him to succeed.
I was given a copy of this book i exchange for my honest review.
Heuer Lost And Found Unapologetic Lives Book 1 A. B. Funkhauser Blog Tour and Giveaway
Heuer
Lost And Found
Unapologetic
Lives
Book
1
A.
B. Funkhauser
Genre: Adult, Contemporary,
Fiction,
Metaphysical, Paranormal, Dark
Humor
Publisher: Solstice Publishing
Date of Publication: April 23, 2015
Number of pages: 237
Word Count: 66,235
ASIN: B00V6KLAMA
Formats available: Electronic, Paper Back
Cover Artist: Michelle Crocker
Book Description:
Unrepentant cooze hound lawyer
Jürgen Heuer dies suddenly and unexpectedly in his litter-strewn home.
Undiscovered, he rages against god, Nazis, deep fryers and analogous women who
disappoint him.
At last found, he is delivered to
Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, a ramshackle establishment peopled with above
average eccentrics, including boozy Enid, a former girl friend with serious
denial issues. With her help and the help of a wise cracking spirit guide,
Heuer will try to move on to the next plane. But before he can do this, he must
endure an inept embalming, feral whispers, and Enid’s flawed recollections of
their murky past.
Is it really worth it?
Available at
Amazon
and Book Goodies
Add it to your Goodreads List
Reviews:
Fresh writing filled with rich
vocabulary, this story features a vivid cast of colourful, living-breathing
characters. This one will keep you reading late into the night until the final
page.—Yvonne Hess, Charter Member, The Brooklin 7
Ms. A.B Funkhauser is a brilliant
and wacky writer …Her distinctive voice tells an intriguing story that mixes
moral conflicts with dark humor.—Rachael Stapleton, Author, The Temple of
Indra’s Jewel and Curse of the Purple Delhi Sapphire
The macabre black comedy is
definitely a different sort of book! You will enjoy this book with its mixture
of horror and humour. —Diana Harrison, Author, Always and Forever
Heuer Lost and Found is a quirky
and irreverent story about a man who dies and finds his spirit trapped in a
funeral home with an ex-lover who happens to be the mortician. The characterization
is rich the story well-told.—Cryssa Bazos, Writer’s Community of Durham
Region, Ontario, Canada
Author A. B. Funkhauser strikes a
macabre cord with her book "Heuer Lost and Found". I found it to have
a similar feel to the HBO series "Six Feet Under".--Young,
Author, A Harem Boy’s Saga Vol I, II, and III
Short
Excerpt:
Enid Krause nee
Engler had made her way down to the embalming room where he lay waiting for
her. She paused on her way to dither over some emails and, he noted with
approval, to check out Kijiji for vintage GTO’s. Next, she mucked about with
the coffee maker, juicing up her brew with two bags of pre-packaged Columbian.
This, he noted wryly, was not the wisest thing to do when one’s hands were
already shaky. It was apparent to him that she liked her booze as much as he
did, and if she were to play around with sharp things, she stood a good chance
of facing him sooner, rather than later.
“It is here that
you must speak to her,” the lamp intruded, muddling his thoughts and destroying
his pleasure. He did not like this popping in and out at will inside his head.
He hoped her powers were limited to audiences in the basement, but not so—she
was a body trapped in a house she did not choose, yet her spirit travelled,
permeating the mind at will. “If you want to move on, it must be so. Put things
right, mein Schön.”
He frowned at her
use of ‘Schön.’ It was his term of endearment, yet she took it for her own, as
if her right to trample him escheated once he agreed to do her bidding.
Make amends. Sure.
The Holy Moly Book of Hooey said so, but to which place would he go thereafter?
The land of milk and honey, where everyone ran around in bed sheets? Or the
other place, where no amount of sunscreen would help? “Neither,” the lamp said
confidently, her words ironic, because she was a lamp and obviously hadn’t been
anywhere. “To your purpose,” she said, twisting him in the direction of Enid,
who muttered under her breath as she fumbled with her earrings.
He grinned,
longing to see what she would do next: Fraulein Engler was obviously struggling
over his dramatic return, and for good reason. They had not parted on the best
of terms. She wept sentimentally in the coroner’s suite—woman’s tears—much to
her colleague’s chagrin, and now she was dragging her feet like a shotgun
bride. Walking alongside her, he thought about theatres and floorboards and
actors moving from mark to mark, their steps mapped out strategically on the
floor with sticky tape. “This is why people spend so much time and money on make
believe, Mächen,” he said. “It’s so much better to watch.”
Enid managed to
get past the door that separated the O.R. from Weibigand’s outer hall, where
she was greeted by the buzz and hum of a big fan that would keep his stink off
of her. He concentrated on the noisy traffic that was her brain: like car tires
spinning, rubber burning, a lonely heart hammering, and an incomprehensible
fear. He was in despicable shape and it would take every ounce of skill to
bring him to heel.
About
the Author:
A.B. Funkhauser is a funeral
director, fiction writer and wildlife enthusiast living in Ontario, Canada.
Like most funeral directors, she is governed by a strong sense of altruism
fueled by the belief that life chooses us and we not it.
“Were it not for the calling, I
would have just as likely remained an office assistant shuffling files around,
and would have been happy doing so.”
Life had another plan. After a long
day at the funeral home in the waning months of winter 2010, she looked down
the long hall joining the director’s office to the back door leading three
steps up and out into the parking lot. At that moment a thought occurred: What
if a slightly life-challenged mortician tripped over her man shoes and landed
squarely on her posterior, only to learn that someone she once knew and cared
about had died, and that she was next on the staff roster to care for his
remains?
Like funeral directing, the writing
called, and four years and several drafts later, Heuer Lost and Found was born.
What’s a Heuer? Beyond a word
rhyming with “lawyer,” Heuer the lawyer is a man conflicted. Complex, layered,
and very dead, he counts on the ministrations of the funeral director to set
him free. A labor of love and a quintessential muse, Heuer has gone on to
inspire four other full length works and over a dozen short stories.
“To my husband John and my children
Adam and Melina, I owe thanks for the encouragement, the support, and the
belief that what I was doing was as important as anything I’ve tackled before
at work or in art.”
Funkhauser is currently working on
a new manuscript begun in November during NaNoWriMo 2014.
Website: www.abfunkhauser.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamfunkhauser
Facebook: www.facebook.com/heuerlostandfound
Publisher: http://solsticepublishing.com/
Tour
Giveaway
5 signed paperbacks- open to
international shipping
Display link
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Chew-Choos 'Sweet pea' Silicone Teething Necklace Review
This is a very nice necklace, not just a teething tool. I actually got the black one, but the picture did not show as well as the blue picture on Amazon, so I post it also.
This really is a great item for Mommy's with teething babies. It is very cute and stylish. The beads are large enough for babies to get a good grip on, but not to big for their little mouths. It also looks great on Mommy. I chose the black one and it does look very nice with my outfits. There are 8 silicone beads. I love silicone it is soft yet durable, The only reason I gave it 4 stars was the cord all though it is nice and durable it does tend to hurt just a little when baby tugs on it pretty good. But that being the only draw back, it is still a great product. Also makes a nice toy to keep baby busy while you are out and about. I was given this product in exchange for my honest review.
EpicBelle Comfort Grip Crochet Hooks Review
I did receive my set in exchange for an honest review.
Stainless Steel BBQ Grill Brush Review
I did receive my Grill brush in exchange for my honest review.
Black Cowboy Hat with Red Paisley Bandana (Adult) Review
#adultcowboyset
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